the difference between men and women


I heard this analogy a couple of weeks ago about how men and women mind's work, and for some reason it really made total sense to me! I've repeated it off and on to a few friends and I think it is something that has resonated with all of us, especially those of us in long term relationships. I'm always struck with how different I think about things versus my husband. Neither way is right or wrong, but if you go into your day shaking your head over why he just won't get it (I do this often!), then this may help you. 

This is the real difference in the brains of men and women (and is most likely a HUGE generalization, but whatever;):

A man's head is full of boxes. Each box has a different category (work, home, sports, family, golfing, etc.) A man is capable of dealing with one box at a time. He opens up this box, does whatever he needs to do within it, and then closes it before moving on to another. The boxes never, EVER mix. He is task oriented and can do tasks without thinking of other things that need to be done. This may be why I've observed my husband can cook in the kitchen and completely ignore the children fighting in the next room (this would drive me NUTS!), or that he can shut his brain off at night and go to sleep immediately. He is tired, so his brain shuts off and he sleeps. (I am wildly jealous of this, btw.)

A woman's brain is like one big tangled heap of fishing line. Everything is connected. All of life is observed at once and many parts of it blend into one another. We can cook a dinner while breastfeeding a baby and entertaining a toddler. We can have a zillion different things going on and be juggling everything and manage to do (almost) all of it well (er, hopefully?) Maybe not awesomely well, or to the best of our ability, but it can be done. I know that I can be working on my blog, then switch off to researching T-ball registrations, creating a grocery list, thinking ahead to dinner and homework and bedtime, as well as what is coming tomorrow and maybe even a year from now. Women's brains do not shut off, ever. They always race to what is next, who needs us, and what we need to do. I worry constantly about things that have yet to come, like the teenage years and keeping my kids off of Tinder, and creating a great rapport with them so they trust and confide in me, as well as minute things like remembering to put the library books in their backpacks on the correct day and whether or not they ate enough vegetables.

I'm not bashing men at all in this analogy, I happen to love mine and think he is one amazing husband and father. I've just learned that our brains are very, VERY different from each other. I've learned I have to tell him exactly what I want and need from him. Instead of complaining that he isn't giving me what I need and just magically knowing how to help, I tell him. And this works! Who knew? I've learned that just because he can fall asleep faster, or work without worrying about the kids, or shut his brain down and focus on one thing at a time, that this is just how he is wired. And that is OKAY. We can all learn from each other, and once you unlock the secret to their way of thinking I think it helps. And man! Ten years of marriage in, two kids, and over fifteen years together I still learn something about him everyday. That's what makes it all pretty magical, right?

Tell me, does this analogy make sense to you? (Or am I crazy? You can tell me…;)

Sometimes I forget about certain stores and how awesome they are


Nordstrom jacket, old (faux fur option); Old Navy jeans; Target faux fur scarf, old (option); ℅ Lulu's boots (options); Logo layering tank (my fave!); Meijer top.

This has absolutely nothing to do with the photos above (…though this IS a style blog, so hello random style photos;), but a couple of weeks ago I was at the mall for a birthday party and had some unexpected time to myself. It was right before Christmas and kind of a hot mess (holy overwhelming!), but I ventured on into American Eagle Outfitters and was amazed by everything they had. I mean, I've shopped there before and bought my favorite pair of distressed jeans there, but I guess I just forgot how awesome it is? 

It's really boho and girly and all Coachella-like in there, which is my fave style in the warmer months, yet it does translate into winter, too. Here are some of the things I am loving in there, RIGHT NOW.

I'm obsessed lately with wearing mismatched earrings in my ears, and not all the same design. I have two piercings that are still open (that third one is hopeless), and find myself wearing four different earrings at the same time. It feels funky and unique to me, especially when my ears are most likely the only part of my body showing in January. I like to buy their six packs of studs and mix it up!

I have this three pack of crystal rings and I wear them on multiple fingers daily.

Loving this turquoise ring for the summer, worn with distressed denim and a slouchy white tee!

Floral headbands, 4-ever;)

This embroidered tote looks exactly like the pricier version that a lot of bloggers have, but for a lot less. I NEED this. 

A floral babydoll dress I would wear with ankle boots and loads of layered jewelry.

And lastly, a floor length maxi dress that screams, "put me on after a long day at the beach and enjoy an ice cold Summer Shandy on your back deck"…or something like that;)

Tell me, do you have stores or shops that you love, yet tend to forget about for large chunks of time? Do tell!

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how to be successful at just about anything


I think success can be measured in so many ways by everyone, but success to me involves reaching goals that I set for myself daily. I'm a dreamer for sure, I see something I want and I tend to go all out until I reach it. I'm a goal setter and a list maker, which I think helps me stay focused on all I need to do to achieve my dreams. 

When I began this blog I had a goal to make it as big as I could get it. I toiled for a year before I figured how HOW to get it there (hint: consistent posting, reading and commenting on blogs, and sponsoring other blogs to get your name out there!) I made a list one January and vowed to double my readership each month, and then set up exactly what I needed to do to get there. I signed up for sponsorships for the entire year, wrote some posts for other blogs that I hoped would share who I was and draw people to me, and by the time I was done with this plan I found that I had surpassed my original goal. It was never about being the biggest for me, but for being the best I could be. I knew I want to share my experience with others and create a community, so I worked daily to reinforce that. I found that I couldn't just say, "I want to make an income blogging," I had to make daily sub goals and lists that would help me achieve this ultimate dream. None of it was easy, and took years to get where I wanted to be (and I'm still working on it!), but looking back I see that it wasn't just about the dream, it was the focus that brought me there. 

You have to dream big by focusing small.

I find that this works in so many areas of my life. I have a fitness goal of being as healthy and fit as I can be. I love being able to lift weights and run fast and eat well. So I break it down. I focus on entering my daily food intake into Fitness Pal each day. Then I set a new goal to add miles to my run (even if it is a half mile at a time), or saying that I will only go to the gym for 10 minutes if I really don't want to work out on a particular day (though I always stay the whole time, so the trick works!) 

It's never the end result that really pushes me, it's the consistent nature of pushing through daily to do what I said I would do. (This could also mean I am really stubborn and hate not doing what I said I would do!) Blogging when I don't feel like it, eating a salad when I really want the burger and fries, running five more minutes when I want to quit, these are the little decisions that add up. These small choices all add up and create the life I have always dreamed about.  They push me to be the best me I can be, and in the end I reap the rewards of reaching goals that I never thought possible. 

Tell me, are you a goal setter? How do you make your dreams come true?

The cutest boots you ever did see


Forever 21 kimono; Old Navy tee (similar) and jeans; American Eagle headband; ℅ DSW boots.

*This is a post written by me on behalf of DSW, all opinions are my own!

You know what I really love? I love that the sales seasons run sort of exactly when you need them most. Right now the stores are pushing spring (which seems like a sick joke…), so they have to clear out all the winter stuff to make room. Except NEWS FLASH, it's only one month into actual winter and we all still really need to wear the stuff that is on sale. I mean, all this perfectly good stuff is out there, and it looks so nice and awesome and all that jazz, and it costs LESS than we could have gotten it for when it first came out. Gosh I love the reasoning behind sales and merchandising;)

Take these boots I'm wearing. I've been eyeing a pair similar to these for forever! The wood heel, the cool and different mid shaft height, and the funky straps across the ankle scream edgy boho to me, yet they are hard to find at a decent price. Enter DSW and their amazing boot prices. All of a sudden these boots can be found for $51 less than the original price, and WE get to reap the rewards. Yay! 

You know what else is fun? Leaping through the snow in a kimono on a 21 degree day to get these photos…you've gotta love style blogging in Michigan, right? ;)

Tell me, where would you wear these boots? How would you style them?

 Disclosure: Compensation was provided by DSW via Mode Media.  The opinions expressed herein are those of the author and are not indicative of the opinions or positions of DSW.

DSW is the destination for savvy Shoe Lovers everywhere. Customers experience a breathtaking assortment of designer brands at irresistible prices everyday.

How to wear your Summer stuff all year long


Forever 21 maxi dress, old (similar, similar); Faux fur vest, old (similar); Blank NYC faux leather jacket; Steve Madden boots, old (similar); Baublebar Zodiac Constellation pendant and Morse Code Initial necklace.

I've realized lately that I'm sick of looking at all my Winter stuff. I'm tired of my sweaters and tunics and heavy layers. I want change! The only issue is, it's not Spring. Or anything close to it. (Insert crying face emoji…) Last Fall I took a lot of my Spring and Summer clothes and either boxed them up in bins, or hung them from a rack in my laundry room in the basement. And now, every single time I do laundry I stare longingly at my floral dresses and kimonos and other various times that have been banished from my closet. Finally one day I said screw it. I took a couple of things I love and brought them back upstairs to my closet, and vowed to figure out a way to wear them. So DRAMATIC, I know.

I find that I can still wear all this stuff with some creative layering. Leggings or fleece tights under dresses, fur vests and multiple light layers on top. At this time of year I'm not really outside that much beyond going from the house to the car, or the car to a store, so I can wear lighter weight fabrics and not be THAT cold. I also like pairing tougher accent pieces with my Summer clothes, like my studded boots with a floral dress, or a winter beanie with a white dress and tights. It's all about how you look at something, I guess. There aren't a lot of things I can't wear year round if I get creative about it, and that makes me happy.

Tell me, how would you wear your Summer clothes in Winter?
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